Wondering Out Loud

When wondering out loud to one of my children about how to begin a blog, I was advised to just start.   While I considered that smarty-pants suggestion, with my characteristic dead-eye mommy stare directed at the speaker, I realized it was actually pretty good advice.   My constant searching of the internet for ideas and reading other artists’ blogs was starting to look an awful lot like procrastination.  Does anyone else get really excited when they are "required" to research something online?  Just me?

Anyway, this is me just starting.

My name is Elise.  I am an artist.  It has taken me 13 years of trying different ways of producing art to be able to write that statement without cringing and crossing it out.  Do I lack confidence?  Maybe, but it’s more the condition of having access to millions of artists and their work with the scroll of my mouse or finger.  So much art, so many genres and mediums, all compared to my struggling attempts.  I am not good at receiving criticism, even if it’s imagined.

I started seriously pursuing art when I was 48.  It wasn’t something I had trained for all my life, and I didn’t have an academic background in it.  I was simply drawn to the act of creating, though the path to where I am today was anything but straightforward.  I started with photography and spent hundreds of hours learning Photoshop and photo manipulation.  This was back when filters were very simple, and digital art was not widely accepted in traditional art circles.  I composited purposely taken photos together to come up with pieces that I would then painstakingly paint with a digital tablet and brush to resemble oil paintings.  I loved this work and produced some beautiful pieces that did well in exhibitions and art shows.  I even won third place at a show because the judge had never seen photo manipulation done the way I was doing it, and she was impressed.

Digital painting of couple on bridge with woman wearing a red dress in the midst of red leaves on the trees in autumn titled - “Ladies in Red”

But then came the award ceremony and the angry looks and nasty “almost” under-the-breath comments from “traditional” artists that digital art wasn’t “real” art.  So then I started Googling “is digital art real art?” For months.  I was too new as an artist and too introverted to be able to stand up for myself.  I had yet to develop a thicker skin regarding the opinion of others.  In my late 40’s perhaps should have, but that’s not how I’m made.

Not wanting to be accused of producing something that “wasn’t really art” I started learning how to draw.  Because I couldn’t draw very well at first, I tried to come up with something I thought people would like.  I made illustrations that used symbolism to have meaning.  I created mandalas out of drawn flowers that represented emotions or things such as physical health and protection.  I learned to use sublimation to put them on products.  I spent lots of money on supplies and equipment.  Did I sell things?  Sure.  Did I enjoy the process?  Not really.  I was creating products, and for a long time, that’s all I felt qualified to do.  I yearned to create art for its own sake, but I wasn’t content to do it in a void.  My husband believes in me, and the dream is to make enough money so that he doesn’t have to work so hard to support us.

Illustrated flowers with the word “breathe” in negative space

Now, at 60, I’m starting again.  I am finally in a place where I am comfortable creating my own kind of art with ink, which I’ve always loved.   My work consists of highly detailed depictions of flowers, but not always as they grow.  I incorporate textures, geometric shapes, and abstract elements to create compositions that resonate with ideas or abstractions, such as emotional healing or happiness.  My pieces are deeply intentional, grounded in the deep symbolism I draw from traditional, medicinal, and folklore sources. 

That brings me to another significant aspect of my life that I will be discussing in this blog: my spirituality.  I am deeply spiritual and an animist, which means I believe everything has a spirit—trees, rocks, rivers, animals, even the small objects we keep around us.  This perspective deeply influences my art.   My inspiration comes from seeing the Divine in nature and wanting to express that feeling in my art so that others may feel it too.  This is not just an artistic endeavor but a spiritual one. 

My pieces always feature flowers, plants or trees, sometimes birds, and perhaps other creatures in the future.  Some compositions lean toward traditional scenes, but even then, they carry a quiet energy of reverence.  Others focus more on the interplay of organic forms and structured geometry, reflecting the balance between the wildness of nature and the patterns that underlie all things.  Each piece is drawn meticulously, an act of both devotion and discipline.  Every element I place has meaning, every curve and texture is considered, and each piece holds an intention.

My process is slow and meditative, an extension of my connection to the world around me.   My artworks are small containers of meaning, intended as invitations for people to connect; with nature, with quiet moments, with the Divine - whatever that means to them.

Ink art featuring flowers that resonate with “harmony”

Of course, putting myself out there in this way is hard.  I am an extreme introvert.  The idea of marketing, self-promotion and making myself visible is something I have resisted at every turn.  I would much rather sit in my quiet space, surrounded by my ink pens, than try to sell myself as an artist.  But I also know that art is meant to be shared.  If my work can bring even a small moment of joy to someone, then it is worth the discomfort of stepping out of my comfort zone. 

I know I will continue to learn and grow for the rest of my life.  I am where I am, and I’m okay with it.  I’m able to let my art stand on its own, infused with the symbolism that is so important to me spiritually.

So, this blog will be a mix of things.  It will be about my art, my journey, my struggles, and my victories.  It will also be about my spirituality and how that intertwines with everything I create.  I hope that, as I write and share, I will connect with others who find meaning in these things too.  Perhaps fellow artists who have struggled with self-doubt, or introverts who understand the difficulty of putting themselves out there, or those who feel the call of nature and spirit in their daily lives.

This is just the beginning, but at least I’ve started.  And sometimes, that’s the hardest part.

More on the symbolism in my art and the spiritual aspects of my work in the next post…